Have you read this yet? Have you at least heard of it? It's the inspiring article written by Yale graduate Marina Keegan who tragically passed away days after graduation. Her passing seems to add even more meaning to an article that resonates with messages such as "We’re so young. We’re so young. We’re twenty-two years old. We have so much time." How can you not be touched, especially knowing that Marina has no time left?
She reminds us that despite all our regrets, it's not too late. Our choices and even our lives are not concrete and we can still change and do something different. The lines "The notion that it’s too late to do anything is comical. It’s hilarious. We’re graduating college. We’re so young. We can’t, we MUST not lose this sense of possibility because in the end, it’s all we have," brought me to the verge of tears, and I never cry.
Every once and a while I'm reminded about how precious life is. One minute you're there and the next you aren't. I need these reminders because sometimes I can get so bogged down with day to day life. But when I re-remember how precarious all our lives are, I then do my best to make even the little moments count. We can't have awesome, life changing adventures everyday, there are still bills to pay and responsibilities to be had. I think instead that living life to the fullest means stopping every once and a while to appreciate the little things, to smile at all you have (and not despair at what you don't) because you never know when your time may be up.
Thursday, May 31, 2012
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Summer job drudgery & Life lessons
Life lesson 1: tip at least 15%
Let me preface this by saying that I think everyone should work in the service industry at some point in their lives. After being a waitress I've learned how to be a better customer and worked on my people/sucking up skills. As a part of my job with catering, I've learned etiquette (start with the outermost fork and work your way in), how to set a mean table, and the art of fancy napkin folding. It's generally shitty work but one that's humbling and character building, part of one's overall poor high school/college kid experience.
However, all this talk about character building doesn't take away from the fact that the job generally sucks--the purpose of my rant today. Two nights ago I started back at Planet Pizza, the casual restaurant down at the oceanfront that I've been working at for the past 5 summers now. Because it's the oceanfront the people that eat at our place generally aren't the classiest individuals. It's a lot of beach bums, rednecks, and (surprisingly) French Canadians. As a result tips can regularly suck but because it gets so busy and turnover is fast you can generally make a decent haul during peak summer season.
Monday night was fairly busy but it continually amazes me how horrible people are at tipping. I was consistently getting less than 10%, and, not to toot my own horn, but I'm a good waitress. I'll admit it when I've been cranky or bitchy, but I was on my A game that night. Seriously I felt like I was running like a well oiled machine. I was super friendly and attentive despite being busy. Oh and did I mention that I got stiffed at least twice by young kids (you know it's going to be a bad table when 3 young kids ask for 1 water to share. I just winced and said, "you know water's free right?") So what's the deal?!
People suck. They don't know how to tip. They don't know basic politeness (lets talk about grown-ass adults essentially ignoring me as I was trying to take drink orders, and then not being helpful and passing drinks around to their friends--seriously?!). Waitresses work for tips. We generally have a low fixed hourly wage ~$2.17 an hour. It's not like Europe, or even Canada, where waitresses get a higher fixed wage and you don't need to tip. We NEED your tips, so give us at least 15% especially if you are geting great service from someone like me. And if you can't afford to tip, don't eat out! Get take out or go to McDonalds. This is how I'm earning (temporarily) my livelihood; I'm not waiting on you for kicks, and I certainly don't want to be abused by you for free.
Sorry for this but I had to rant. It's like a punch in the stomach, when you get such shitty tips after working your ass off. So be nice and tip well, your waitress might have massive student loans :)
Let me preface this by saying that I think everyone should work in the service industry at some point in their lives. After being a waitress I've learned how to be a better customer and worked on my people/sucking up skills. As a part of my job with catering, I've learned etiquette (start with the outermost fork and work your way in), how to set a mean table, and the art of fancy napkin folding. It's generally shitty work but one that's humbling and character building, part of one's overall poor high school/college kid experience.
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| Did I mention that I also got to rock a kickass tux for catering? |
However, all this talk about character building doesn't take away from the fact that the job generally sucks--the purpose of my rant today. Two nights ago I started back at Planet Pizza, the casual restaurant down at the oceanfront that I've been working at for the past 5 summers now. Because it's the oceanfront the people that eat at our place generally aren't the classiest individuals. It's a lot of beach bums, rednecks, and (surprisingly) French Canadians. As a result tips can regularly suck but because it gets so busy and turnover is fast you can generally make a decent haul during peak summer season.
Monday night was fairly busy but it continually amazes me how horrible people are at tipping. I was consistently getting less than 10%, and, not to toot my own horn, but I'm a good waitress. I'll admit it when I've been cranky or bitchy, but I was on my A game that night. Seriously I felt like I was running like a well oiled machine. I was super friendly and attentive despite being busy. Oh and did I mention that I got stiffed at least twice by young kids (you know it's going to be a bad table when 3 young kids ask for 1 water to share. I just winced and said, "you know water's free right?") So what's the deal?!
People suck. They don't know how to tip. They don't know basic politeness (lets talk about grown-ass adults essentially ignoring me as I was trying to take drink orders, and then not being helpful and passing drinks around to their friends--seriously?!). Waitresses work for tips. We generally have a low fixed hourly wage ~$2.17 an hour. It's not like Europe, or even Canada, where waitresses get a higher fixed wage and you don't need to tip. We NEED your tips, so give us at least 15% especially if you are geting great service from someone like me. And if you can't afford to tip, don't eat out! Get take out or go to McDonalds. This is how I'm earning (temporarily) my livelihood; I'm not waiting on you for kicks, and I certainly don't want to be abused by you for free.
Sorry for this but I had to rant. It's like a punch in the stomach, when you get such shitty tips after working your ass off. So be nice and tip well, your waitress might have massive student loans :)
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| Courtesy of the Chive |
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
Sh*t I wish I knew
2. There are things your advisor doesn't tell you
Did you know that you have to take a minimum of 15 credits to be on the deans list? I didn't (how's finding that out your 4th year for ya?). Did you know that there are awesome interdisciplinary majors? I didn't (at least until it was too late). So your advisor isn't perfect... shocker.
You've got to do your homework so to speak. Scour the basic undergrad (or grad) website asap. Learn all you can and be prepared. I definitely wish I had learned about interdisciplinary majors like Global Development Studies, something I definitely would've liked to study instead of Psych (I'm super bitter about my psych major if that wasn't obvious). I'm lucky that the advisor I was randomly assigned to first year was actually awesome; she gave me advice and suggestions. But for most it's a in, unlock my class sign-up hold, and peace out sort of deal. So don't rely on them to tell you everything.
Did you know that you have to take a minimum of 15 credits to be on the deans list? I didn't (how's finding that out your 4th year for ya?). Did you know that there are awesome interdisciplinary majors? I didn't (at least until it was too late). So your advisor isn't perfect... shocker.
You've got to do your homework so to speak. Scour the basic undergrad (or grad) website asap. Learn all you can and be prepared. I definitely wish I had learned about interdisciplinary majors like Global Development Studies, something I definitely would've liked to study instead of Psych (I'm super bitter about my psych major if that wasn't obvious). I'm lucky that the advisor I was randomly assigned to first year was actually awesome; she gave me advice and suggestions. But for most it's a in, unlock my class sign-up hold, and peace out sort of deal. So don't rely on them to tell you everything.
Sunday, May 27, 2012
Sh*t I'm glad I did
1. Volunteer
I know that high school stresses volunteering like nobody's business. It's a good way to pad your resume and make you look like a better person to perspective colleges. If you're like me then your high school even made you log a certain amount of hours in order to graduate. It's funny how at the time, you volunteer because you essentially have to, but in college I found myself volunteering because I wanted to.
For those of you who don't know (which I don't know how many that can be, I constantly talk about the barn and my "kids") I volunteered for three years with CART, Charlottesville Area Riding Therapy. For about three hours a week I drove out into the country side to help teach horseback riding lessons to kids with physical and mental disabilities. It's cheesy, but volunteering for CART not only helped the kids I worked with, but it helped me as well (and not just as a resume booster).
Being able to leave grounds, if just for an afternoon, and get out into the country to work with horses (I'm obsessed with them if that wasn't apparent) was the perfect way to recharge. College life can be draining (sometimes I've even compared the social scene to a shark tank) but when I was volunteering I was more than just a college kid, I was a teacher and a helper. One of my students actually worked at the dining hall at UVa and sometimes I would see her and stop to talk horses for a bit (be nice to Uva employees!). I can't begin to describe how excited she would get, the girl was absolutely adorable, and it just made me feel good to know that I helped to fuel her excitement and riding confidence. In the end, CART was therapeutic for me as well. I think it helped to make me a better, more patient person (trust me, I needed lots of patience haha).
UVa has a great volunteering program called Madison House. They offer a wide variety (I mean tons) of volunteering programs/opportunities. I'm sure other schools have similar programs. My advice: check it out. Eventually, if you are doing something you love and are passionate about, you'll find you volunteer because you want to and not because it pads your resume.
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| Where I spent some great afternoons |
I know that high school stresses volunteering like nobody's business. It's a good way to pad your resume and make you look like a better person to perspective colleges. If you're like me then your high school even made you log a certain amount of hours in order to graduate. It's funny how at the time, you volunteer because you essentially have to, but in college I found myself volunteering because I wanted to.
For those of you who don't know (which I don't know how many that can be, I constantly talk about the barn and my "kids") I volunteered for three years with CART, Charlottesville Area Riding Therapy. For about three hours a week I drove out into the country side to help teach horseback riding lessons to kids with physical and mental disabilities. It's cheesy, but volunteering for CART not only helped the kids I worked with, but it helped me as well (and not just as a resume booster).
Being able to leave grounds, if just for an afternoon, and get out into the country to work with horses (I'm obsessed with them if that wasn't apparent) was the perfect way to recharge. College life can be draining (sometimes I've even compared the social scene to a shark tank) but when I was volunteering I was more than just a college kid, I was a teacher and a helper. One of my students actually worked at the dining hall at UVa and sometimes I would see her and stop to talk horses for a bit (be nice to Uva employees!). I can't begin to describe how excited she would get, the girl was absolutely adorable, and it just made me feel good to know that I helped to fuel her excitement and riding confidence. In the end, CART was therapeutic for me as well. I think it helped to make me a better, more patient person (trust me, I needed lots of patience haha).
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| We even had mini ponies! |
I.O.U.
So I took my student loans exit survey. Basically this is meant to ensure I know what interest rates are and how I have to pay back all the money I've borrowed or else. Needless to say I ended the survey hyperventilating/freaking out about how in the world I'm going to pay back loans when I'm just jumping straight into grad school and accumulating even more debt. Not a good look for me.
My mom suggested that once I get down to Atlanta I get a job that will pay for me to go to school part time. WTF mom why are we talking about this now?! The decision (at least in my mind) to go to school full time has already been made; there's no going back for me. Later this evening she also suggested that I marry someone and then have them take on my student debt. She's just full of gems isn't she? Haha.
Obviously, I'm just going to owe my parents for life. They are the ones who are going to help a sista out while I schlep it along in grad school. It's going to be an investment, one that I have to keep reminding myself will be so worth it in the end. It means that I'm also going to have kiss major ass while waiting tables this summer. Oy vey.
My mom suggested that once I get down to Atlanta I get a job that will pay for me to go to school part time. WTF mom why are we talking about this now?! The decision (at least in my mind) to go to school full time has already been made; there's no going back for me. Later this evening she also suggested that I marry someone and then have them take on my student debt. She's just full of gems isn't she? Haha.
Obviously, I'm just going to owe my parents for life. They are the ones who are going to help a sista out while I schlep it along in grad school. It's going to be an investment, one that I have to keep reminding myself will be so worth it in the end. It means that I'm also going to have kiss major ass while waiting tables this summer. Oy vey.
Friday, May 25, 2012
Sh*t I wish I knew
1. Don't come in insisting that you're going to be a certain major
As I was sitting there waiting to get my diploma, listening to the numerous students who graduated with distinction or with highest distinction, I was a little bummed. My Gpa didn't suck, it was decent, but I definitely didn't get as much out of my psyc major as I could have. This largely has to do with the fact that about halfway through I realized I hated psychology. I wasn't passionate about what I was learning, but because I had come in and immediately started taking tons of psyc classes as soon as I entered school by the time I realized that I didn't want to major in it it was really too late. Because of my lack of enthusiasm, I didn't participate in the numerous research opportunities that the department had available, I didn't even consider doing the distinguished major program, and I didn't feel like getting to know my professors.
On the other hand my bioethics minor was my saving grace. I took a random class by chance and fell in love with the subject. You know the adage "if you do what you love you won't work a day in your life?" Semi true. I did have to work, but for my bioethics minor I wanted to work. I did all the reading for every class because I wanted to be able to participate and because I respected my professors. And my grades reflected that.
So my recommendation would be chill, you don't need to decide asap what you want to major in. Take a variety of classes that interest you and eventually I'm sure something will click. Once you find that class that totally wows you, ask the professor for further recommendations. Even take the time to scroll the list of available majors at your school. I don't know how many times I have lamented the fact that I found out about the Global Development Studies major when it was too late. I'm lucky to have finally found my passion (even if it was a little late in the game), but to all you others: keep an open mind!
As I was sitting there waiting to get my diploma, listening to the numerous students who graduated with distinction or with highest distinction, I was a little bummed. My Gpa didn't suck, it was decent, but I definitely didn't get as much out of my psyc major as I could have. This largely has to do with the fact that about halfway through I realized I hated psychology. I wasn't passionate about what I was learning, but because I had come in and immediately started taking tons of psyc classes as soon as I entered school by the time I realized that I didn't want to major in it it was really too late. Because of my lack of enthusiasm, I didn't participate in the numerous research opportunities that the department had available, I didn't even consider doing the distinguished major program, and I didn't feel like getting to know my professors.
On the other hand my bioethics minor was my saving grace. I took a random class by chance and fell in love with the subject. You know the adage "if you do what you love you won't work a day in your life?" Semi true. I did have to work, but for my bioethics minor I wanted to work. I did all the reading for every class because I wanted to be able to participate and because I respected my professors. And my grades reflected that.
So my recommendation would be chill, you don't need to decide asap what you want to major in. Take a variety of classes that interest you and eventually I'm sure something will click. Once you find that class that totally wows you, ask the professor for further recommendations. Even take the time to scroll the list of available majors at your school. I don't know how many times I have lamented the fact that I found out about the Global Development Studies major when it was too late. I'm lucky to have finally found my passion (even if it was a little late in the game), but to all you others: keep an open mind!
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
Breaking up is hard to do...
Goodbyes are tough, especially when you are saying goodbye to bestfriends, people you've laughed with, cried with, got drunk with. You've had great times with these people, so how in the world are you supposed to just up and walk away?? I've come up with the perfect solution: I just don't say them.
I've mastered the art of just fading into the mist if you will. I basically get the hell out of dodge as fast as I can, not making much of an effort to hang out and inevitably exchange those painful farewells. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a hard hearted person. I like to think that I'm so sensitive that it's better for me to simply just avoid those awful situations that will tug on my heartstrings in the first place.
So ya, graduation weekend was a whirlwind. I didn't do any of the partying I'd planned to due to a very painful case of tonsilitis (try being up all night because the pain is so bad) the Friday before graduation. Then, my parents packed me up and took everything away pretty much right after I got my diploma. Instead of doing the obligatory post ceremony raging I collapse into my makeshift nest on the floor (it was a long day and this chick was still in recovery mode). I cleaned all the next morning and then threw them deuces up and left.
I just can't do it; I can't face those goodbyes. And despite the fact that I got overwhelmed in the car as I was trying to think about how I could possibly stay in touch will everyone, it came to me: the people that truly matter will make an effort, and for those that don't, well people come into our lives for a reason but people also leave us. Leaving is a part of life, and while it's a tough pill to swallow, even good people leave and fade away. But this leaving isn't bad and that means that we can still treasure the memories that we still have.
As for my BFFs, you all aren't off the hook. I expect visits!
I've mastered the art of just fading into the mist if you will. I basically get the hell out of dodge as fast as I can, not making much of an effort to hang out and inevitably exchange those painful farewells. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a hard hearted person. I like to think that I'm so sensitive that it's better for me to simply just avoid those awful situations that will tug on my heartstrings in the first place.
So ya, graduation weekend was a whirlwind. I didn't do any of the partying I'd planned to due to a very painful case of tonsilitis (try being up all night because the pain is so bad) the Friday before graduation. Then, my parents packed me up and took everything away pretty much right after I got my diploma. Instead of doing the obligatory post ceremony raging I collapse into my makeshift nest on the floor (it was a long day and this chick was still in recovery mode). I cleaned all the next morning and then threw them deuces up and left.
I just can't do it; I can't face those goodbyes. And despite the fact that I got overwhelmed in the car as I was trying to think about how I could possibly stay in touch will everyone, it came to me: the people that truly matter will make an effort, and for those that don't, well people come into our lives for a reason but people also leave us. Leaving is a part of life, and while it's a tough pill to swallow, even good people leave and fade away. But this leaving isn't bad and that means that we can still treasure the memories that we still have.
As for my BFFs, you all aren't off the hook. I expect visits!
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| Courtesy C.G. |
The Beginning
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| Courtesy of UVa Major Events |
I want to use this blog as a way to (hopefully) give advice to future/current undergraduates, or maybe just to young people in general. College obviously isn't for everyone, nor should it be, so hopefully what I have to say will be found to be applicable to many and not just college students. I especially wanted to start this as a way to piece together all of the lessons I've learned, the experiences I've had, and the things that I would/wouldn't have done differently, as my little brother is set to start college in the fall (whether he'll listen to any of this is another story).
With blog posts such as "Sh*t I wish I knew," and "Sh*t I wish I'd done," I hope to offer some advice that I wish I'd been given or heeded as an undergrad. I'll also attempt to describe the "second chance" that I feel grad school offers, while also doing my best to chronicle my move to/adventure in Hotlanta later this summer.
Cheerio!
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