Take it easy

Ironically this comes on the heels of my post about all the awesome jobs and things I've been up to. But I will be the first to admit to you that I've probably bitten off way more than I can chew. It's a 1 month sprint to summer so I can make it, but the days are long and free time is a thing of the past. That being said, I did cave today and emailed my unpaid gig to say I wasn't coming in so that I could take a nap (I did keep the whole, I'm going to nap part to myself).

When you are so tired that you just want to cry...well that's no good at all so it was time for a mini personal day. I do feel semi-bad, but the thing to remember (that we all should remember) is that even if you are busy, you need to take care of #1 (aka you!) first and foremost. Take those breaks a little at a time otherwise you are headed down the one way street to breakdownville, and ain't nobody got time for an emotional crumbling these days.

Yes, thank you. via the chive

Interestingly enough, I've heard this is why the public health school here throws us keggers once a month. Based on a legit public health needs assessment they had found that public health masters students work the hardest out of all the grad students; compared to our law and even med school peers, we party the least and are generally more concerned about others than we are ourselves. So in order to get us to loosen up a bit and not have emotional/physical breakdowns from all the stress, they throw us these keggers as a way to get us to be social and blow off some steam with our peers. Blow off steam I will, as Emory is having a school-wide beer and wine fest at the local park tomorrow. Mingling, men (!!!-- I'm sorry but I feel like I essentially go to an all girls school and am dying), and... it'd be cool if I could say martinis or mojitos just to keep with the m thing I had going on but it's just beer and wine. Good enough for me! I'm just going to try and not think about the fact that I have to be up at 8:30 am the next morning....

I resolve to...

I'm not one for making New Years resolutions. First, because I'm awesome already (har har) and second, because oftentimes they are way too hard to keep (remember my stint at not eating wheat/gluton?). I exercise often enough already, and eat marginally well as it is so I don't think any resolution I would make would involve the health and fitness arena (I'm already well beyond the point of having any sort of goal weight or anything like that because I don't own a scale and can't diet to save my life).

Some choice UVa graffiti I came across years ago. Seems appropriate?

Laying in bed the other night, thinking about this same subject, I came up with something: more horses. I'm a horse nut, have been ever since I can remember. As luck would I have I do not come from a horse family so I had to push and prod and plead to get my mom to sign me up for horse riding lessons. And saint that she is my mom has been a great sport about it all, I can't even begin to add up the countless hours she's spent driving me around and hanging out at horse barns while I ride. I've never been a phenomenal rider, never competed in any shows or won any ribbons; I haven't jumped in years, and it takes a lot of nerve for me to ease a horse into a canter (I blame my timidness on the fact that the first-and only-time that I've fallen off was when I happened to be getting on the horse I was thinking about leasing. He took that moment to take off and start bucking, and I found myself skidding to a halt under a fence with my arm broken. Now I cling like a monkey and don't really do anything fancy). But for the past 10 years I've ridden on and off, and I love it; I just wish I had the opportunity to do it more. Unfortunately for me Atlanta isn't the most conducive city for this type of hobby, and I, being the poor unemployed grad student that I am, really can't afford to pay $60 a lesson at the barn I currently volunteer at.

In 2013 I want more horses in my life. I want to ride them more than a few times a year, and I want to stop being jealous of the kids I help teach to ride. That's my silly little resolution, but I'm also going to really try and attempt to stop worrying so much, especially about things I can't control. Looks like I've got my work cut out for me...

Gus!

Who wouldn't want more ponies in their life?!

Homey...homie?

I actually like Atlanta a lot more than I thought I would. It's not the concrete jungle that I pictured before coming here; there are actual trees and pockets of cute neighborhoods where the shops are all dog friendly and leave bowls of water outside. But being here makes me really miss Virginia. What's that cheesy Counting Crow song say? "Don't it always seem to go that you don't know what you got till it's gone?" Sounds about right.

At times I can see myself living here. And other times... not so much. I hate driving here. Not only is the traffic a bitch but the drivers are terrible. They don't follow speed limits or the general rules of the road; the few times I've gone on the highway have really stressed me out.

Not an actual picture but pretty accurate of how I feel. via the Chive

I've continued to volunteer at the therapeutic riding barn, but it becomes more and more painful to help give lessons and not be able to ride myself. I think it's generally a bad sign when I start to really envy the kids that I'm volunteering with... but finding cheap lessons anywhere near me is looking like a major impossibility. The overall barn we work at charges $60 per lesson; the results of an internet search show that to be the average going rate. And really going anywhere outside the city, with a car ride of 45 minutes or more, seems to defeat the purpose when you consider gas prices/my hatred of driving down here.

In addition, it's really sad to see that the horses don't have grass here. This is an extremely ritzy barn, probably costs an upward of $1000 a month to board a horse here, and there are no pastures. When you turn a horse out, it's to this small dirt paddock a little bigger than the size of my room. Even if you don't like horses you have to admit that's pitiful. This doesn't bode well for someone who jokingly/semi-seriously has asked for a horse every year for Christmas.

Basically it all comes down to this: how do I make Atlanta feel more like home? As a friend pointed out, I think it will do a lot for my psyche if I don't treat this as a temporary pitstop on the road of life (even though it may be, I have no way of knowing where I'm going to end up). I'm a creature of habit; I like to feel comfortable and settled in my surroundings. I've really started to like Emory and the public health program that I'm in. So how do I make this (temporary) home more homey, like an old homie?

On Why I'm Dying

I almost bought a fish the other night. That's how desperate I am for a pet. I also literally sat staring and gushing over the parakeets in Petsmart that same evening (how can you not love those little birds, especially after seeing one hold onto the tail of another as it was trying to fly?!). I'm an animal lover plain and simple, and I've never felt so deprived in my life.

I've become that weird person that has to run up to every dog I see (always making sure I ask the owner's permission of course) just so I can get my fix. Yes, my fix. The animal fix. I even get excited when I see a squirrel nowadays. Just not a lot of nature where I am. Of course I could be a good samaritan and volunteer at the animal shelter... for $25. You have to pay to volunteer. WTF.

Allie girl <3

Don't even get me started on horses. Seeing a picture can get me all misty eyed. I'm not even that great of a rider, but damn do I love me some horses. It pains me that I'm never around them as much as I could be (my friend and I missed our orientation for a therapeutic horse riding place last weekend due to our overindulgence in alcoholic beverages the night before :/ ).

So this is what my life has become. I'm so pet deprived that I almost bought a fish. At the same time, I semi-can't bring myself to do it. They're just so insubstantial. But beggars can't be chosers, and my plant just isn't really cutting it...