So I'm now half-way through grad school...

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Boy time flies! I finished my last final today (boo epi! I'm so a words person, risk and rate ratios just mean nothing to me), and it's just scary to think that this time next year, I will be getting ready to graduate (and either looking for, or hopefully already having, a job). In some ways I will miss school, but a paycheck will be nice.

To tie a nice little ribbon around things, my friend/future roomie B and I signed a lease and put the deposit down on our condo for next year! Very very excited; it's the culmination of the end of a long search. Our place has so many trees, a spot for a little porch and some potted plants. And of course plans for a dog named Ripper (after getting her stuff stolen at the beginning of the semester, B decided that we would need to get a tough dog to protect us, hence the name Ripper was born) and a bird for me!

It's been an interesting 2 semesters and looking back here's what I've learned so far:

1. Grad school is one of the first times that you may have friends studying the same thing as you. Which is weird because sometimes all you do is talk about public health, but it's also nice too.

2. Grad school is awesome because I'm actually learning things that will help me in the real world. I'm so glad I decided to go

3. Undergrad did not prepare me for the job market (I'm sorry, as much as I love and value the liberal arts--the world would be missing something if people didn't study it--I didn't learn that many specialized skills, hence lesson #2.

4. Grad school is also awesome because they give you free booze. At least you know your tuition is going towards something useful.

5. Getting an internship takes persistence; over 65 applications' worth of persistence. But it pays off in the end when you find something you really love.

6. You will work your butt off in grad school, but teachers aren't out to fail you and your GPA will probably be better than it was in undergrad.

7. Public health=group projects, which aren't so bad when you are actually working with people who care (I'm generalizing here, but usually you don't go to grad school unless the field is important to you--and you also don't go to grad school if you're dumb).

8. Small pox, as well as ebola and all kinds of other nasty things, is alive and well right across the way at the CDC (thanks Colin Talley for that daily reminder).

9. The next big epidemic, think mass death on a Spanish Influenza of 1918 sort of scale, is inevitable.

10. Public health is pretty awesome, and I think I've fallen even more in love with it than when I started (although don't get me started on my Curriculum design class...)

Bring on sweet summer time in Hotlanta and the Bahamas!

I feel it in my... innards?

The year is drawing to a close and as the clock ticks down to midnight I'd like to take some time to reflect on at least one very important lesson that I've learned and hope will stick in 2013. It's something I forget and re-remember time and time again but there really is something to that feeling you get in the pit of your stomach, a feeling that's worth listening to.

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Sometimes I get it when a relationship doesn't feel quite right, maybe things are a little too good to be true (in which case if you feel that way then they usually are), or maybe plans keep falling through when you used to hang out all the time, or someone isn't as attentive as they used to be (or on the flip side is too attentive). These are often the sources of that ominous feeling. I've gotten them, and looking back I know this, but at the time it's always harder to pick up on. On the other hand, there have been times when I know the reason I haven't trusted my gut is not because I was too oblivious to the signs but because I didn't want to listen, I didn't want to face the music telling me that things were going downhill and that maybe someone just wasn't that into me.

So now I know that I have these feelings (and maybe you've realized that you have too?), and more often than not I know it's usually a good indication that something isn't right with the situation. Now comes the harder part: actually listening to my gut. That's sure to prevent a lot of drama, and I could use less of it in 2013.

Men are from Mars...

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You know how the saying goes. "Men are from Mars, women are from Venus" (funny enough but I actually have this book, surprise surprise). But it's true; men and women really are different species. They think differently, are able to compartmentalize and focus on one task at a time, and certainly aren't as open with their feelings as us ladies are. Despite knowing all of this, I still don't get guys. When one pisses me off, I never stop to think "oh maybe this is just in his y-chromosomed nature?" In all fairness though, I can understand how they don't get girls either (I'll admit that we really can be cray sometimes and very complicated almost all the time). So besides reading books on how to understand the opposite sex, what does one do?

I'll tell you what I do: read men's magazines. More specifically, when I have nothing better to do I go on the websites for these magazines (Men's Health, Ask men, Coed, these last two may or may not be actual magazines but are totally guy centric). Let me just say, it's absolutely fascinating. Guys think about things just as much as girls do, they just spin the topics differently; instead of a boot camp bikini blast there's an article on building muscle and protein powder, and instead of how to please him, it's a feature on how to please her.

It's funny, but somewhere along the way I actually forgot that guys have feelings (maybe because they've done such a good job at crushing mine?). I remember asking my guy friends, why would any guy actually feel motivated to want a relationship/is that even possible for one to really want to be tied down? I still wonder that sometimes. But newsflash: they actually do have feelings, and deep down they're just as interested in how to impress someone as any girl is. Guys just aren't as open about it as we are...and maybe that's why we can't live with 'em, can't live without them.

If you have to ask...

Here's an epiphany I just had: if you have to ask someone where you stand (relationship-wise) chances are that you probably already know the answer. And it isn't a good one (unless you hate the person and really don't want them to like you--then congrats!). I've had these moments, and they suck. But it's also really informative. If I have to wonder where I stand with a guy, then chances are he's just not feeling it because if he was, then I wouldn't have to wonder, I'd know.

Now, early on in a relationship or whatever you want to call it, I think it's ok to wonder. Hey, that's half the fun, the oh-my-gosh, crush is forming stage where you're talking but things haven't gotten serious. There's no need to rush that part and put a label on things, so don't ask. But after a time (and I can't really put a definitive number on this, but I think you start to get an inkling)... it's natural to start to question things. I also think that when the time and the person is right, you won't have to wonder.

I realize this epiphany may be a "no shit Sherlock" nugget of knowledge for many of you. But if you're like me, maybe a little rusty dealing with members of the opposite sex, and have a need for definitive answers before you tie a neat ribbon around a chapter and begin to move on, well this was a moment of enlightenment. Maybe on some level I knew it all along. My gut feelings have had an amazing tendency of being right. But as far as actually listening to and believing in what I deep down know to be the truth, well I've got a ways to go on that one...

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p.s. That awesome guy Dave I was telling you about? I was very sad to hear that he passed away on Thursday, the day after I found out about him. It's tough when someone like that suddenly leaves in the blink of an eye, but it's amazing to think how many people he was able to touch in such a short amount of time. I certainly will try and mirror the optimism and joy he found everyday in my own life.

Sh*t I Wish I Knew

10. Tolerance decreases significantly after undergrad. Also, don't mix wine with beer and liquor. 

I made a rookie move this weekend. I'm not going to go into significant detail but based on this picture I'm sure you can get the gist. 

I could be a mature adult and pretend this never happened (although I'm guessing mature adults presumably don't get drunk in the first place), but lets not kid ourselves here. I'm young and of legal drinking age, so I'm going to partake occasionally. But after Friday... never again (I say this semi-melodramatically).

The stories are really funny. Sounds like a great night, I say, but even though I was there I still feel like I've missed out. Apparently I threw my shoes? Haha. So laugh it up guys and enjoy your "I'm sorry I was that girl" muffins because you will never see that side of me ever again. In all seriousness, alcohol really does need to be used with caution. It's scary not being in any sort of conscious control of yourself. And really, who wants to be known as that girl?

After spending literally the next 22 hours sleeping (that's my non-REM narcolepsy in action for you) and essentially losing an entire day that could've been spent adventuring or being productive... ya no I think I'm set for a while.