On The Quest To Be The Best...

If you don't get what this is referring to and you grew up in the 90s  I will be very disappointed. 

I don't know why but this phenomena of "out-best everyone" has only become apparent to me since entering grad school. Here's the story: in 2 of my classes last week, the professors had us get up and introduce ourselves, giving our name, where we went to school, our major, past experience, our area of interest, what got us into public health, and anything we liked to do outside of it. Every time it seemed like a person would get up and try to act as impressive as possible (you say you were a researcher at the NIH with a fancy title but we all know you were really an office bitch). That is the out-best everyone attitude that I'm talking about.

Then we come to me: "Hi I'm Alannah, I went to UVa were I studied psychology and bioethics. I've been waiting tables the past 4 summers and working in catering; I like to think I'm a bomb waitress and semi-good people person..."Yes I purposely will not out-best you, in part because I can't (I mean I could say I studied health systems for a month in Cyprus or interned at UVa hospital or was a part of an NGO that raises money to build schools in Uganda but these were hardly full time activities) but also because I don't want to. 

I've talked about this before, how in middle school I had to be the best/smartest. High school knocked me down a few pegs because I was going to school with some of the smartest kids in the city. I learned that there's always going to be someone smarter or better, and it's exhausting trying to compete with that. I'm just grateful that I learned this all before college, when the stakes really do get high. 

I'm content with not being the best. Like I've told my friends, I'm ok with being a simple "worker bee" and letting someone else take on the stress of being the queen. I don't need to be a president or CEO, my aspirations are a bit simpler. Of course I want a good job (gotta pay off my student loans somehow), but I also want to have a life, be able to travel, finally be able to buy myself that horse I've always wanted, have my horde of goldendoodles, and (if I get over my aversion to kids/diapers) have a family. I'm not going to be the best and that's ok. But I am going to try to be my best (which if we're just going off of what I am now, it's going to be kickass). 

Goldendoodles fo eva