Miss Advised ;)

via tvlisting.com

I watch a lot of t.v. in my spare time, which I have a lot of lately. So my t.v. guilty pleasure of choice is Bravo's new series Miss Advised, which follows 3 women who are relationship/sex columnists. The entire time I watch this I just die inside. These women are batshit crazy. Here are some of the takeaway points:

1. Girl doesn't feel chemistry with guy but still uses him to help move boxes into her apartment.

2. Girl has a list of 50-odd traits her ideal guy would have.

3. Girl owns 25 tutus.

4. Girl talks constantly about finding a husband.

5. She is verbally begging for a kiss from a guy she just met that day.

For a relationship columnist this girl is d-u-m-b. Seriously sister?

Then another woman who is a sex advice expert goes to dinner with her ex-boyfriend and starts basically rambling on about how he hurt her. What do you want girl? Who are you fooling?

And then there's the matchmaker who breaks her own dating rules because, as she puts it, "dating takes practice and I don't have a lot of options right now." Are you shitting me? She's currently sabotaging herself by continually mentioning that she is so much older than the guy she's on a date with.

The one good takeaway message that our dear sex columnist left us with was: trust your gut. If you don't want to go out with someone or it doesn't feel right, then listen. I can't wait for more.

New Template

Made some changes to the template and overall feel of my blog. Wanted to make it more personalized and me (if you're into design at all, I've been fiddling around with my newly downloaded Picasa all afternoon!). I'm not the best with computers, but I hope you like!

Sh*t I wish I knew: Random roommates... never know what you're gonna get

5. Random roommates are like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're going to get.

I've heard good stories of people having awesome roommates that they became best friends with. This is not one of those stories.

I decided to do random after semi-learning from the experience of my cousin. She roomed with a friend, but by the end of freshman year they weren't really friends anymore. Living with someone in such a small space can be hard, no matter how nice each person is and how well they initially get along.  UVa has a very basic roommate matching survey, asking about when you go to sleep, how you think you'll use your room (social, study, etc.), it's not very comprehensive at all. So I finally get my roommate assignment, and I'm initially super excited. This excitement dampens a bit once I found out she didn't have facebook (now I know not everyone has FB and it really isn't the end all be all of social experiences but still, it's so widely used) so that's when my alarm bells first started tinkling.

We communicated via email throughout the rest of the summer, and I was still excited. This excitement quickly went away as we all moved in and got settled. My roomie and I were as different as night and day, even our sides of the room reflected that difference. She was into anime, video games, and fencing, I hung out with friends and dabbled in different clubs. We just didn't have much in common, she was shyer and I wasn't. She only left the room to go to class or fencing practice, I tried to leave it as much as possible (having no a/c made it hot as balls). It eventually just got to the point where we kinda just stopped talking because I felt like it was mostly me who was trying to carry on a conversation. So ya, kinda weird and awkward at the time. Cringe-worthy then but looking back now it's kinda funny (and makes for a good story).

My side of the dorm. Oh first year. 

So just be careful when deciding who to room with. My little brother actually met his roommate on a Facebook page meant specifically for roommate finding (obviously I would've never ended up with the same person had I used something like this) and I'm actually finding my apartment-mates for next year using a similar facebook system (although since I will have my own room and bathroom it really doesn't matter as much who I live with). The shared dormroom experience is a right of passage, but one I'm glad I will never have to experience again!

True Confessions: I'm a hypersomniac

So I'm writing this because I feel like to better understand me in general, it's important to understand why I sleep so much (which is hard not to notice if you've spent any time whatsoever around me). I have non-REM narcolepsy, which in layman's terms means I fall asleep fast and often but don't go straight into REM sleep. Like an insomniac can't sleep, I, as a hypersomniac, sleep too much. When I saw I'm always tired, it's not your run of the mill teenager type tiredness; it means I'm seriously always tired and never wake up fully rested. I love naps (it's an accomplishment if I don't take one).

My problem started way back in the summer before 10th grade. I got mono (har har not from kissing) and basically when I wasn't at field hockey practice I was sleeping all day and all night. And ever since I got mono it was like I never fully recovered. Before college I noticed that my heart was racing even when I was just standing around at my cashiering job, so my mom took me all the way up to Johns Hopkins to visit some bigwig doctor who diagnosed me with tachicardia (meaning my heart races when I stand up, causing me to have super high blood pressure, the meds for which I will take prob forever) and recommended I get a sleep study done. Sleep studies suck, you spend the night at the hospital hooked up to all these electrodes, but it ultimately confirmed that I was indeed a hypersomniac.

So I don't automatically fall asleep standing up like Mr. Bean but close enough. via Google. 

It's a strange and kinda absurd sounding diagnosis but for me it's important. It confirms that I'm not actually lazy, like some people may think, but that I have a legitimate medical condition. I take pills every morning in order to keep me awake (these pills are the kind they give to fighter pilots who have to stay up for 48 hours on bombing missions, and I can nap on them). Staying awake is a constant battle, and it's super frustrating because I feel like I could get so much more done if I didn't have to sleep so much. My grades, which weren't bad, would certainly be much higher. I could probably conquer the world if I had more energy.

My issue is such a bummer, but I adjust. I don't drink constantly or go out as much, since it takes me so much longer to recover. Much to my friends' irritation I'm the queen of canceled plans. "Just too tired" is a constant excuse. I've missed out on a lot, and I've pissed people off because of it, for which I am sorry. I just want to make sure that when I do go out I have enough energy to have a good time and not be a stick in the mud, which my energy level can certainly effect. But I'm hoping that if you've taken the time to read this then you may understand a little bit more and not get as mad when I say I've gotta nap. Speaking of naps, it's dark and thunderstorming... perfect conditions...

I'M BACK!!!!

Hello hello again! I'm finally officially back after an awesome family reunion at Deep Creek Lake in Maryland. At our peak there were over 50 of us (cousins keep having kids so we are multiplying exponentially). It was super crazy, kids running around everywhere, eating extravaganzas, beer in every cooler but it was great. I have to admit that I was a bit like "ughhh this is going to be too much" prior to leaving, but I forgot how funny my family is. Everyone has such a good sense of humor, so I only really had to censor myself in term of bad words haha.

All the cousins minus Jeff

Let's see... activities included: reading, napping, boating, tubing, hiking, cornhole, can jam, Euchre (a midwestern card game my whole family plays) tournaments and card playing in general, jet skiing (sorry for screaming in your ear Lindsay!), and zip lining. Oh and eating and drinking haha. I saw deer, some sort of small rodent and a BEAR! It was a black bear in a tree down the street from one of our houses (did I mention that we rented 3 huge houses were we all stayed). I didn't technically see the whole thing, but I saw this black mass moving about in the tree, and guys that got closer said that they heard it grunting and that it was about 100 lbs. So I didn't get the best glimpse but it was closer than anyone else!

My other activity which I'm super excited about was my first Stella and Dot trunk show (thanks fam for being my guinea pigs). We have lots of stylish ladies in our family so I thought it would be a great opportunity to bring my jewels and see what magic could happen. It was cool seeing everything all set up (even if it was on a pool table), and really got my confidence going as far as my Stella career. It helped me realize that I am going to have a more laid back trunk show style-- not so many flowery speeches, no need to be pushy when styling. The jewelry is so nice that it really sells itself. So now I'm just hoping that I'll find more people who want to host trunk shows at their places (I got $230 in free jewelry and 3 pieces half off-- the more your customers buy the more the hostess gets! So I can't see why you wouldn't want to host). Any takers?

So coming up for this week: more sh*t I wish I did and that I'm glad I did! :)

Oh UVa.

I've been sporadically following the developments in C-ville concerning the resignation of President Sullivan over the past few weeks. All I can say is that I'm extremely sad by what is happening at my school. Even though I doubt it will be read or seriously considered, I had to write in to the BoV (the alumni association is planning to compile all the comments submitted and present them to the board on the 22nd). Here's what I wrote:

Having walked the lawn a mere 4 weeks ago, I am heartsickened by all that has transpired in Charlottesville only a month after I proudly became an alumni. My only consolation is that this happened after I left; I would hate to have to continue my studies in the wake of all this turmoil. I say that I am heartsickened because until now I was not aware just how corrupt the inner workings of my beloved school were. Call me an idealist, but I simply assumed that an institution that prided itself on adhering to the visions and traditions established by Thomas Jefferson would run itself more like a school instead of a corporation or political machine. It disgusts me to think that my school has fallen prey to political influences and interests that seem to touch and ruin all other spheres of society. And while I urge faculty members to hang on and stick with this school (they are the only ones who can save it now), I can't say I blame them for wanting to quit. Who would want to work within a community that seems only to value the input of those with an MBA? All I can say is that I am incredibly sad and disappointed in the conduct of the BoV, who seems to treat my university like a corporation instead of the great academic institution that I know it is. 

It's super melodramatic but honestly it sums up how I feel. I'm sad and disappointed and mad and confused. Not to mention the vandalism of the Rotunda. I get that someone's mad but ruining a world heritage site is not the way to make your point. Either way, rough times are sure ahead for dear ol' UVa, and it will be interesting to see how (if at all) admissions rates and rankings are effected.

Via Washington Post. Over 2000 people showed up in support of Sullivan. Wow!

"We are familyyyy"

Dearest readers,

I hate to leave you all high and dry but I will not be able to post regularly this coming week. I know you'll miss me so much but I promise, knowing my family I will have plenty of stories to relate about our shenanigans. I'm already surprised at how much these people can put away in terms of libations! So this is just a warning that you might not hear much from me. I'm not quitting the blogging business just yet :)

Woo family reunions!

Thank you!!

So I wish I had some funny story to tell you about a crazy birthday adventure that I got myself into last night, but I don't. Let's face it, all birthdays are going to pale in comparison to my 21st spent in Cyprus (can you tell I'm really homesick for it?). But that's ok because I realized as my family and I were basically attacking the red velvet cake my mom made (so good!) and my dad ran to get some sort of weird birthday hat for me to wear, wanting to embarrass me the way they do in Mexican restaurants (the best he came up with was a detachable hood from a furry winter jacket) that I kinda love being a home body, and more importantly that I really love my family.

Good choice Dad!

I also wanted to write and say how touched and happy all of the happy birthday comments on fb make me! It's exciting to know that so many people think about you on such a special day. And lastly, thanks to everyone who has been reading my blog! I never thought that it would be received the way that it has been (I was picturing it more to be like some sort of awkward public diary that no one paid attention to!). I'm so flattered and excited by all of the praise, it really makes my day when someone tells me how much they love reading it!

Thank you Lacey LeBleu for reposting this nugget on fb! 21st in Cyprus

Sorry this isn't as funny/interesting as a normal post (I feel like there's some sort of pressure/expectation to live up to now haha). But don't worry, I've been brainstorming more nuggets for the Sh*t I wish I knew and Sh*t I'm glad I did series. Any sh*t you wish you had known or sh*t you're glad you did?

Shit I'm glad I did

4. Go out on a Thursday night (or a Tuesday or a Wednesday)

There's this song (Bruised) by Jack's Mannequin that I love, a line of which says "So read your books, but stay out late some nights, some nights, and don't think that you can't stop by the bar." There is in fact a good balance between work and play, one that took me a while to figue out. First year I didn't go out at all; I studied a lot instead and even though I ended up with a great GPA there was something missing. I never allowed myself to go out and have fun, even on the weekends. And looking back, I think I really missed out on a key part of college (especially first year of college). I'm not saying that people should go ape-shit and drink all the time and go out and never study, but college isn't just about studying ( who would've thought that I would be saying something like this).

Work hard, play hard: truly a good motto!

I mean obviously I think that it's important to work hard and do your best; it's me we are talking about here. But it's also important to make friends and have fun! I think the nights I've had the most fun have been on weekday nights, when you're being spontaneous and silly with your girls. Those are the nights when you further solidify friendships and make real memories. And ironically enough, I did the best on my spanish tests (try 100s) when I went out the night before (though I wouldn't recommend that for everyone haha)!


My cousin Rachael likes to point out that "you won't remember the nights
that you spent inside studying, you'll remember the ones where you went out and had fun with your friends!" These nights are really priceless, and they will definitely be the ones that you treasure (and remember) years down the road. It's all part of enjoying your youth while you're young!

These are the nights I'll remember

"I was sittin, waitin, wishin..."

So it tickles me (stupid expression?) that by far my most popular post has been about my dating misadventures. And I will say, that's the one I had the most fun writing and was the most excited to share. I was also a little nervous because it is such a personal subject but hey it's pretty funny I will admit.

In the future I would love to share more dating disasters (although I hope there won't be too many!) but right now my love life is kinda on hold. As my wise little sister said a couple weeks ago "you don't need to get involved with anyone since you're about to move. You don't need a long distance relationship!" She said this so matter of factly that I just busted out laughing. Truly words of wisdom from the mouth of babes (it amazes me that as she has gotten older my sister, who is younger by 6 years, has really become my partner in crime).

It kinda stinks, I know you are supposed to live every day to the fullest, but I feel like a major part of my life is still waiting to begin. And I'm not just referring to my love life but also my professional life as well. There's this tribe in Africa that I learned a little about in an anthro class. The boys go through what is called a liminal stage, the period between when they are boys and when they are men of the community, and that's kinda how I feel (minus the part where I go live in the woods for a year). But right now I'm in a kind of exile back home, working temporarily in a job I don't really like. So I'm wondering, is it ok to feel this way?

Grad school: It's really happening?!?

So today I signed up for my big girl grad school classes. Check out this awesome schedule: 

 

I'm not thrilled in the least about biostat at 830 am, but that's a class I have to take (they automatically signed me up for that; I'm not so insane as to sign myself up for a stat class at that hour). For those that don't know the specifics, I'm going to be working on getting my masters in public health at Emory in the fall in the Behavioral Sciences and Health Education department (I'll eventually have to pick a concentration from those 2). I get the pleasure of taking 13 credits only 3 days a week; the rest of the time I will be earning a stipend at an internship that Emory will help place me in. 

Signing up for classes is further making this real for me. I still don't think the fact that I've graduated and am moving has fully sunk in, but I'm getting there. And I'm excited!!!! I thought I'd be freaking out that I'm moving so far away, to a place where I don't know anyone but I'm not. I'm so pumped for this adventure, for a chance at a fresh start. Coming from a school where so many of the kids I went to high school with also went, where I was constantly worried about running into my ex (and my past in general), I definitely crave this chance to restart. I say this because over 4 years I've definitely changed, and I need this change in scenery to really allow myself to show off this new person that I've become. It's hard to do that when you're constantly surrounded by people/places that remind you of the person you once were. 

So bring it on Atlanta/Emory! Bring on the southern gentlemen! Bring on the biostatistics even! 

Girl look at that body...

via Gawker

Summer is here!!! And that means bathing suits. Dun dun dun. 

I come from a college where someone is always workin it out. I think UVa is ranked as having some of the hottest coeds or some of the most physically fit? Either way, you can always see someone running around grounds rain or shine. And I'm not saying this is a bad thing. Working out is obviously great for the mind and body and I love to hit the gym. I just think that the health benefits often get warped when people make losing weight their goal.

There's a difference between working out to be healthy and working out to lose weight. One mind set implies that you love yourself enough to want to care for your body. The other says to me that you aren't happy with who you are and want to change. I don't necessarily think that it's wrong to want to change, but in a society that puts so much pressure on women's self-image, it's a thin line we walk. 

I can't sit here and act self-righteous and say that oh I've never wanted to change how I look. But it's funny, the more I try and eat healthy and limit myself, the more/worse I end up eating. I think that even if we we lose that extra 5 lbs we'll still find something to be unhappy with; it's the simple "if you give a mouse a cookie" conundrum. There will always be something.  So screw limiting what I eat; f diets. I just try and run every once in a while because after it all I feel good about myself and what my body can accomplish. 

And it's funny, I can get insecure sometimes while out in my bikini but then I see other people who aren't perfect but are flaunting what they got and I think "hell, I have nothing to be self-conscious about!" Confidence is even sexier! See the article that inspired me here!

True Confessions: Hoarding

I think I have a problem. I own way too much stuff, and when I say stuff I mean shit. My ideal room would look like this (I'm obsessed with interior decorating--another sign of growing up):

 

But seriously how does anyone do this?! While packing up to move back home I realized that I couldn't take as much crap with me when I moved to Atlanta in August. I have neither the trunk space nor the extra room in my extremely small future apt. Moving sucks. I'm still traumatized from having to go through 3 years of stuff I accumulated while living in my C-ville apartment. So traumatized that I'm absolutely dead set on downsizing for next time. 

Why do I have such an attachment to things? Why can't I throw anything away? Why when I go through old clothes, making a pitiful attempt at purging, do I look at the shirt I haven't worn in 3 years and think "no I can't get rid of this yet, I could wear this to a party!" Of course I never do end up wearing that shirt so what's the point?! Let's face it, even though I'm constantly wanting more, half my clothes/shoes I never wear, and this bothers me. 

I save everything, old cards, old notes, old pictures. They are all up in boxes in my closet. Will I ever look through these again? Chances are I won't, but I can't bring myself to throw away old notes I passed in class during high school, or the card I got from an old boyfriend. Maybe it's ok to save some memories, just simply for the peace of mind. But that junk drawer? Gotta go! 

Sh*t I wish I knew

4. Dating in college... ha no

So this isn't meant to be a he-man woman hating type post (little rascals anyone?) I'm not going to bash anyone or name names, but for those who know me, my love life (or lack thereof), in college was pretty entertaining--at least for my friends who got to hear all the stories.

After getting out of a long distance relationship (which I don't advise anyone do, totally sucks) I got to spend my second year essentially alternating between catching up on all the fun that I didn't let myself have while I was in a relationship first year and crying in my room. I joined my sorority, made tons of friends, went to parties, got a job etc. I was in no state to start dating again so just having fun worked.

Eventually though as I got over my breakup I started wanting something a little more...stable? Meaningful? College, I found, is not the place for that. Sure I met guys at mixers and parties, but those definitely aren't the places to find a guy who wants to settle down. And I'm not talking about lets settle down, buy a house, get married type of thing. I'm just saying that I was looking for something monogamous because frankly I don't like to share my man with another girl. Sorry I'm not sorry.

I've come to the conclusion that college in general is neither the time nor the place to expect a relationship. I think the sooner I would've realized that the less disappointed I would've been. Sure, there are those awesome exceptions, the awesome couple that met on a blind date or that have been doing a log distance relationship for 4 years, the kind that still give you hope. Hell, I myself have witnessed 2 marriage proposals during college (first year and on graduation) but these are rare.

In a hook up culture why should a guy buy the cow/make a relationship official when he's getting the milk for free? Ha kinda gross but true! It's a vicious cycle, girls accept hookups because thats all they're going to get, and guys don't commit because girls settle for casual hookups.

So, because I'm stubborn and hate sharing my boy toys, I've been flying solo for 3 years. For a while I hated it but by now I've gotten used to it. Instead I've been friendzoned, ignored, one guy even gave me pink eye (which showed up the day after he said it wasn't going to work). My favorite is the time I brought a guy I liked to a date function. He shows up drunk and 15 minutes later ditches me to go to frats. Low point? Totally. But it's all good, and actually kinda funny now.

I've learned a lot about guys in the meantime. Don't chase them (still totally guilty of this). They generally mean what they say, so if they say they are too busy for a relationship then chances are they are. And if he's not texting or trying to hang out, he's prob just not that into you. Above all, don't be afraid to throw them deuces up and move on. There are plenty more fish in the sea, fish that are cute, will treat you right, and that will like you back!

Throughout this process I've also learned I'm not perfect. I've definitely overreacted, been uncharacteristically clingy (I say uncharacteristically because truly I'm not, I seriously can't spend 24/7 with someone, I just get overexcited is all). I've been downright cray at times (hey at least I can recognize/admit it right? That's the first step to recovery?) I can easily think of times when I've dug my own grave/not been totally blameless for some of the times things have crashed and burned with a guy. But still I don't think this makes me unlovable, and that's why I still find myself unable to settle.

So, moral of my long story: learn to be comfortable being single, don't expect some picturesque relationship while in college (most guys are still just too immature). If anything (and this is something I still have to remind myself of) just chill and trust the process. Mark Twain said "don't worry about losing. If it's right it'll happen. The main thing is not to hurry. Nothing good gets away." It's got to be one of my favorite quotes, one that I really try to keep in mind when I start to feel like I'm pushing things or coming on too strong.

And, finally to all those boys I've liked and lost, thank you! I've learned a lot and become all the better, faster, stronger in the process :)

I bust this out just to garner pity haha. 

Sh*t I'm glad I did

4. Rushed a sorority

This isn't going to be a super cheesy rah rah sorority post. Because I'm not like that. But I did enjoy being in one and it's because of being in a sorority that I met my best friends.

I rushed as a second year. During 1st year I had this negative view about sororities, thinking it would be a bunch of cat fights and drama. I seriously thought it'd be something like this. But I saw normal girls that like me weren't uber preppy and they found a place to fit it. Sure there are some awful sororities but I joined one of the normal ones.

It completely enhanced my college experience and gave me a small support system within such a big school. I'm not saying that the greek system is for everyone, there are parts of it that I still thought were ridiculous, but the moral of the story is get involved in something. If you like what you are doing, making friends, and having fun, that's what it's all about!

Love these girls! Semi-formal 2011

Sh*t I wish I knew

3. An unpaid internship is better than a paid (but irrelevant) job

Heed this, it's one of my biggest regrets. Instead of working on getting more catering hours I wish that I had focused on finding an internship that was applicable to what I was studying. UVa, and any university really, has so many research projects and internship opportunities for the person willing to go out and hunt for them. It's about figuring out what you like to study (or what you think you may want to do in the future) and ask around. If there's a professor you like, chances are they are doing some research (or know someone who is) so make sure you ask if they have any assistantships. I know that especially for the psych. department they were always looking for research assistants (though I knew early on that I didn't want to have anything to do with the psych. department) but if I had been interested this would've been a perfect opportunity. And how cool would it be to be able to say you had been published as an undergrad?!

Spending time doing unpaid internships is going to be a much more valuable way to spend time. Think about how it'll look on your resume, especially when you're applying to grad school or a real job. What looks better, research assistant or catering employee? The money was nice but experience would've been even better!

Sh*t I'm glad I did

2. Study abroad

The middle rock in the upper left-hand corner is Aphrodite's birthplace! 

One year ago today I was preparing to go on the greatest adventure of my life. If I haven't totally gushed to you about my trip to Cyprus then we might not be good friends because I swear I tell pretty much everyone I meet.

I remember when I first entered college, they tell you that a lot of people chose to study abroad, whether it be for a month during the summer or a whole semester. I also remember wishing that I was brave enough to drop everything and go to a foreign country. At the time I was afraid of what I was going to miss out on back home, along with the fear of leaving my family. But by the time I knew I was ready to go abroad I had nothing to lose, no boy I was leaving behind, and college had made me used to be apart from my family. Why Cyprus? It's totally random (a lot of people don't really know much about it, and I admit I didn't either) but my sorority sister (and big!) had done the same program the year before and absolutely loved it. Plus it was studying health sciences, so the program was something that was actually applicable to what I wanted to study in the future.

Cyprus is so rich in ancient history and has tons of archeological ruins. 

I took 2 classes (anthropology of Europe and Management of Healthcare) at the University of Nicosia during the month of June. We lived in apartments in the country's capital during the week and on the weekends they took us to different cities throughout the country, giving us an awesome beach vacation at the same time. I made great friends and had the time of my life; I turned 21 while overseas and the owner of a restaurant who we befriended threw me a great birthday party, I really couldn't have asked for more. It was life changing, and I still find myself missing that island.

My birthday party! Stolen from Michael :)

So moral of the story, if you're at all interested, study abroad. There are plenty of programs in countries all over the world, and don't worry about the cost, there's financial aid and scholarships that are available for those who qualify. It's a life changing experience and a true confidence booster to be able to travel by yourself and successfully live/function in another country. I credit my study abroad experience for giving me the confidence to go to grad school in a different state away from my family. Don't let your fears hinder the great life experiences that are waiting out there!