True Confessions: I'm a hypersomniac

So I'm writing this because I feel like to better understand me in general, it's important to understand why I sleep so much (which is hard not to notice if you've spent any time whatsoever around me). I have non-REM narcolepsy, which in layman's terms means I fall asleep fast and often but don't go straight into REM sleep. Like an insomniac can't sleep, I, as a hypersomniac, sleep too much. When I saw I'm always tired, it's not your run of the mill teenager type tiredness; it means I'm seriously always tired and never wake up fully rested. I love naps (it's an accomplishment if I don't take one).

My problem started way back in the summer before 10th grade. I got mono (har har not from kissing) and basically when I wasn't at field hockey practice I was sleeping all day and all night. And ever since I got mono it was like I never fully recovered. Before college I noticed that my heart was racing even when I was just standing around at my cashiering job, so my mom took me all the way up to Johns Hopkins to visit some bigwig doctor who diagnosed me with tachicardia (meaning my heart races when I stand up, causing me to have super high blood pressure, the meds for which I will take prob forever) and recommended I get a sleep study done. Sleep studies suck, you spend the night at the hospital hooked up to all these electrodes, but it ultimately confirmed that I was indeed a hypersomniac.

So I don't automatically fall asleep standing up like Mr. Bean but close enough. via Google. 

It's a strange and kinda absurd sounding diagnosis but for me it's important. It confirms that I'm not actually lazy, like some people may think, but that I have a legitimate medical condition. I take pills every morning in order to keep me awake (these pills are the kind they give to fighter pilots who have to stay up for 48 hours on bombing missions, and I can nap on them). Staying awake is a constant battle, and it's super frustrating because I feel like I could get so much more done if I didn't have to sleep so much. My grades, which weren't bad, would certainly be much higher. I could probably conquer the world if I had more energy.

My issue is such a bummer, but I adjust. I don't drink constantly or go out as much, since it takes me so much longer to recover. Much to my friends' irritation I'm the queen of canceled plans. "Just too tired" is a constant excuse. I've missed out on a lot, and I've pissed people off because of it, for which I am sorry. I just want to make sure that when I do go out I have enough energy to have a good time and not be a stick in the mud, which my energy level can certainly effect. But I'm hoping that if you've taken the time to read this then you may understand a little bit more and not get as mad when I say I've gotta nap. Speaking of naps, it's dark and thunderstorming... perfect conditions...